What Would You Do?

Monday, March 5, 2012
No, it's not a John Quinones special, but I'm really wondering what you would do.  Here's the scenario:

Paige is given an invitation from a friend on the bus that is also in 3rd grade at her school, but has never been in her class.  I am totally unfamiliar with her.  Yet, they are apparently good friends due to their hour-a-day bus ride.  Here are the details of the invite:
  • It is at a local hotel.
  • There appear to be many girls invited.
  • They will be swimming.
  • They will be spending the night and are told to bring sleeping bags.
  • I know very few other girls who are invited.  Some are in 4th grade.
  • We currently have no schedule conflicts with this event.
I'd hope that my concerns would be obvious: don't know parents, in a hotel, sleeping on a hotel floor??!?! (strangely, this is the one bothering me the most - mainly because any parent who is okay with this probably differs with me in other fundamental ways as well), adult / child ratio unknown

So, tonight we tell her she can't go and I'm not sure but I think this is the first time we've had to say "no" for no real logistical reason at all.  It's safe to say that I'm not looking forward to more of this in the future.  Paige was upset and insisted that I call and get to know the parents (can't argue she's not smart and logical).  She was crying and despite our efforts to let her know that we aren't doing it to be mean, and that I'd gladly sign on to say we have plans so that she didn't have to say "my parents won't let me," she was still upset. 

We let her be upset, and just gave her space to work it out in her head after saying what we needed to say.  But I think this would have been the first time I would have gone to bed without being on the best of terms with her and I hated the feeling. But I also know how things can look so much different with a little morning light shed on them.  However, not 15 minutes later, Paige came into my room and asked to talk to me.  She climbed up beside me and said words that could not have made me more proud.  I've been thinking and I guess that not going to that party wouldn't be the end of the world. 

I'm not delusional enough to think they will all end this gracefully, so I will savor this one.


Kelly said...

I am right there w/ you on this one...the bad feeling about the party AND umm...sleeping on the hotel floor. no thanks. You SOOOO did the right thing!! I would've said "no" too (hell no, actually), but you are a better mom and were honest about why she can't go. I'm a wimp and would've planned something JUST so I could use the "oh boo, we are busy that night" excuse.

Suzanne said...

I don't blame you for saying no. And hotel floors are really, really, really gross!

Anonymous said...

You totally did the right thing telling her why she couldn't go...and I would have said no for all the same reasons. NO. FREAKIN'. WAY.

And yes, Suzanne, hotel floors - ew. So gross.

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